Damn
I Just keep thinking about you (oh Baby)
I mean I wanna move on but I can't move on (ohhhh)
It's like you have some kind of hold on me and I don't Know (oh ohh oh ohh)
But Imma go ahead and talk about it
Listen

I'm sitting looking out the window like damn
Tryna fix this situation that's at hand
You still running through my mind when I'm knowing that you shouldn't be,
Me all on yo mind and I'm knowing that it couldn't be
Cause you ain't call and I ain't even appalled
I still got allot of pain I ain't dealt wit it all
I been running round with other chicks, I'm single and they loving it,
I'm liking it but I just want theone that I was in love with.
That's not the end of it, I'm tryna let you know I can't,
Get a grip of it is what I'm tryna let you know.
You got a hold or some kind of control of me
I don't know what it is, but I gotta get you gone from me
I'm working at it and it ain't getting no better just tryna be like,
yeah, forget it, whatever
Instead of staring out this glass looking at this bad weather, damn I gotta pull myself together Cause...

When I'm with somebody, all I think bout is you
When I'm all alone, that's all I wanna do
I miss the smiling faces in my sidekick,
Outta town visits, all the time we spent together makes it hard
to get you outta my system.
You know what you do to me (do to me)
You don't even understand (damn)
You know what you do to me (do to me)
It's so hard to get you outta my system.

I'm too attached, my heart won't let me fall back
I got it bad, that's what you can call that (ah)
When I see you in the streets, that's the worse for me
Used to love the little things you did, that's what works for me
It's too major, don't see you on my pager,
Know what you doing, where you at, or can I see you later? (Can I see you later?)
The fellas telling me 'just let her go Bow', believe me, I'm trying man, I just don't know how (Just don't know how)
I be in all the top spots, leaving with the hot shots, knowing they just want me cause
I'm in the top spot That's not poppin and my brain aint stopping, thinking
Who she with, or where she going, is she club hoppin?
I never had this kind of problem in my life, this is my first time dealing with this kind of fight
It's every night and every flight and every time you in my sight,
Damn this aint even right,
cause...

Is it wrong for me to feel this way, you been running through my mind all day
Can you feel me?
I been tryna get you off my mind, but I cant after all this time
That's what kills me
Is it wrong for me to feel this way, you been running through my mind all day
Can you feel me? I been tryna get you off my mind, but I cant after all this time
And it kills me

I remember everything that me and you talked about
Me and you had our whole lives planned out together (oh ohh oh ohh)
And if I could, I would, turn back the hands of time and correct all my mistakes that
I ever did But now I guess I gotta move on, right?
It's still hard and I still love you till this day
Peace.

i'm so starting to hate my hair. shyt.

being right in the middle of two of your ' so called ' enemies.
how cool.

klass tee : above expectations :D:D happy happy ! :D

SYFFFFFFF TMRRRRRRRR !

i feel dumb. knowing that you won't come, i still thick-skinly asked. how stupid can i be ?
if you cared, you would come instead of...
ah whatever. TIRED.
so worked up cause of such a minor thing? know why? cause you told me before, how much you hated them, and i belived.

syf on wed. last dance practice tmr. how sad. after so many years in dance club, we have to just step down like that. i'm so gonna miss shah and those memorable times right from sec 1. :)

stop giving me those. ' ah i've got her ' face. totally digust me out.

klass tee shirt tmr ! :D

'klass' gathering yesterday. went bedok to eat.
7+1+1+4=13. one came after another. quite pissing at first thou.
i realised that it has been so long since i have ride a bike man. went riding around the carpark, and got laughed at. boo.
went changi beach. talked, laughed. hey guys, remember our ' 2 years later ' plan alright ! :)
thanks again for cheering me up ! loves. :)
homed at 11.

Labels: cause you've got better people around., you don't even bother

i've realised that there are so many people in 4e4 hiding their sadness behind those big cheerful smiles. i'm trying hard to learn from them how to not to get affected by things happening around and just smile through. yup. super brave people. :)
________________________________________________________________________


Just by having the thought of it makes me feel stupid, real super stupid.
i feel as though these are all reasons, excuses for me to carry on like an ultimate loser, not being able to move.

I know the people on that waiting list need you more than I do. They love you more than I do. They care more than I do. They deserve to be appreciated more than I do. Believe me, they need you, more than I do. I can’t seem to shake off this fact. Don’t blame me for not doing anything helpful in any way. I’m sorry, I can’t help it no matter how hard I’ve tried. I hope someday you’ll understand, fully.

don't make it like everyone's betraying you. you betrayed their trust first. remember ?

Labels: i guess i'm just not needed anymore.

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried
I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream
I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along


*insensitive

Labels: 4 years. :( somebody, tell me what to do.

now i know and i feel stupid in once beliving in miracles. real stupid.






i went through so much to stand on my own, why why why of all the time you had to choose NOW and push me back right down to where i first started?????????????????????????????? WHY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????

omg. i'm so farking disappointed.
i really wonder if you mean it. or it's just for another show and tell session.




i've got hundreds and thousands of questions i want to ask.

Labels: i don't want to be the ultimate loser.

oh. now i know, so right from the begining, i was the fool, that idiot. being kept from everything. OMG, i feel so stupid.

i want to be HHHHAAAAPPPPPYYYYY MMMMEEEE !! :DD

we got 4th in danceworks again.






wth. you can be so *jian. what are you doing all this for ? like you said in the phone ? omg. sucker.

am i not ? think bout it. how much i got. how much i was left with.

everything is getting me stressed up.
friends, exams, dance props, family, klass tee. omg.

i feel guilty, i have not been studying, not listening in klass, out for walks. seriousy, i can't concentrate, i can't absorb, i don't have the motivation to study, i really can't seem to study no matter how hard i tried. maybe it's just affecting me too much. i don't know.
dance props, saturday is the finals, props are all not done. tmr's a short day, friday is a public holiday. i'm not prepared for danceworks. i'm scared. even if we won, who am i supposed to share my joy to ? family ? no way, they don't even want to watch my performance. saddening. ok nvm. shan't talk bout it anymore. numb.
klass tee. no design, no contacts, nothing. sports day is coming. i assumed all the 4e klasses have already done theirs. ours ? oh man, forget it.
i want to give up, seriously, i'm so affected. sometimes i just hope i can't hear anything, can't see anything. i want to get on with my life. i don't want to stay on like that. i'm tired. i blast my mp3 to cover up the 'noise', i can still see. it's been more than 2 weeks since we've talked. there's no sign, nothing. nothing's happening. it's just hanging there. i'm tired of waiting, tired of everything. you've got people around who care. i see that you are happier now. i'm glad too. i guess i should just quietly go away, maybe you won't even realise it. things that used to be our's is now with others. i don't wanna care anymore. i'm tired. omg i feel like crying now.
* i think you will be that jian person to come. someday you will know.

Labels: wo men zhe me le.

Dissapointment x100

aku putus asa.

PEISHAN